This should be enough to earn a “Wag of the Finger” from Stephen Colbert.

The popular political satirist is listed at 800-1 to become the next President of the United States. In truth, he’d garner plenty of votes if he did run; Colbert’s evisceration of all things political, regardless of affiliation, has struck a chord with audiences nationwide.

Instead, get prepared for the first female president. Hillary Clinton is the top favorite at 2-1, which seems like a bargain, considering she is pegged at 4-11 to win the Democratic nomination, and the Dems are 1-3 to win the next election. If you take those last two bets at face value, Ms. Clinton should have a 55 percent chance of becoming president – better than even money.

That might be a little generous. At least one noted political futures trading market has Ms. Clinton coming in at about 42 percent. There’s still hope, Dr. Colbert.

You can check out all the political odds at Bodog.

Finally, someone is thinking of the children.

The entertainment futures market is buzzing over the impending birth of Nicole Richie’s first child. She announced her pregnancy on July 31 in an interview with Diane Sawyer – didn’t she used to be a journalist?

The father is Joel Madden of the alleged musical act Good Charlotte. This information is only relevant because of some of the prop bets available, like what color eyes the baby will have. Brown is the favorite at 5-6. However, sharp bettors have done their homework and learned that Caucasian babies (Madden is white, Nicole is half-Caucasian) are generally born with blue/grey eyes before their color stabilizes, usually by six months of age. The odds on “Blue” had shrunk to 10-11 by press time.

You can also bet on hair color, birth weight and what name the proud parents will give their child. “Camille” is the favorite at 3-1.

One site that has the odds on Nichole Richie’s baby, is Bodog.

In today’s world, there are no bad decision makers, only sick people.

Mental health officials in the Western world generally consider both problem gambling and excessive Internet use to be Obsessive Compulsive Disorders. But the combination of the two is too potent for at least one country. Israel’s Superior Court ruled earlier this summer that gambling websites targeting its citizens as customers are illegal, no matter where in the world the companies are registered.

Dr. Pinhas Dannon of Tel Aviv University claimed in a recent Online Casino News report that Internet addiction should be classified alongside other “extreme” disorders associated with gambling, sex, and kleptomania. Dannon believes Internet addiction requires the same treatment as these other severe addictions.

The article doesn’t state what treatments the Israeli psychiatrist would recommend. Whatever they are, perhaps both Dr. Dannon and his country’s lawmakers should take the time to watch A Clockwork Orange. They might learn something.

The alternate universe that is Great Britain looks better and better every day. We’ve praised them for their legalized gambling, and if you’ve ever leafed through one of their newspapers, you might think Kylie Minogue is their new Archbishop of Canterbury.

Sure enough, those two worlds have collided. The Sun and the News of the World have gone into partnership with Ladbrokes, the largest retail bookie anywhere. Check out the Sun website, scroll down their table of contents (past “Ibiza Exposed” and “Superbabes”) and you’ll find SunBet or “Betting”.

We need this type of partnership on this side of the briny. Bookies need the exposure, and newspapers desperately need the revenue. All Page 3 kidding aside, there are some of us who still care about good journalism (like The Guardian), but not nearly enough to fund it through our patronage. So let us gamble already. It could even help make the comics page relevant again.

“What will Nicole Richie and Joel Madden name their first baby?”
“Who will win the 2008 Presidential Election?”
“Who will win the Super Bowl this year?”

Proposition bets (or props): Unusual betting opportunities that can add a new level of excitement to whatever it is that you’re watching, be it a major celebrity, sports or television event.

Futures: Odds posted in advance on the winners of various major sporting events, including the World Series, NBA Championship, Stanley Cup, and Super Bowl, and can also be a valuable source of entertainment.

How to Bet on Futures

If you don’t have a big enough bankroll to tie up your funds for months at a time, then betting futures may not be the way to go for you. But if you do have some money to set aside (for the duration of the NFL football season, say) then betting futures can be very profitable. For example, let’s say you were to put down $500 on the Cleveland Browns to win the 2008 Super Bowl. At 125/1 odds to win, if the Browns pull off a miraculous season and become this season’s champs…well, you’d be in for quite a nice pay day.

Although easy to bet on, the general rule with futures bets is the earlier you bet, the higher your payoff. As the season progresses the odds on your team to win the Super Bowl will undoubtedly change…possibly for the worse.

Keep an eye out for injuries, for teams that are struggling early on, and for teams that get off to a hot start. There are a lot of bandwagon fans out there and if they all bet on one team the odds can be driven way down.

Not sure who to go with? Check the schedule before you place your futures bet. If you see a team with a relatively easy schedule and you think they can bang off five straight wins, you may want to throw some money down as soon as possible.

How to Bet on Props

A prop bet is a wager that is not directly related to the final score of the game (or event).
For example, fantasy sports are totally hot right now and if you bet on certain players who you think might be in for a good game or season, props are a great way for you to profit on your fantasy team.

Not interested in sports? Entertainment props are also extremely popular. By betting on your favorite reality TV show or your favorite celebrities you’re adding a new element of fun to your entertainment dollar.

If you’ve never bet on baseball before – with the playoffs creeping up on us now’s the perfect opportunity to get in on the action.

What? No pointspreads?

Even though baseball betting isn’t quite as popular as football or basketball betting, it is one of the easiest pro sports to handicap…as long as you can understand how to read the moneyline.

Get to know the moneyline

With the moneyline, you’re betting on a team to win straight up. Oddsmakers use the moneyline so that more wagers are placed on the favorites and less is thrown down on the underdogs. (And to make up for the difference between the favorite and the underdog, payouts are higher on the dog.)

The minus sign (or negative moneyline) indicates the favorite; the plus sign (or positive moneyline) indicates the underdog. Here’s an example of a moneyline, where the New York Yankees are the favorites:

Yankees -140 Red Sox +120.

Why aren’t there any pointspreads in baseball? The low scoring in baseball games takes the spread out of the equation, but that makes betting the (game) totals more interesting. (Totals generally range from 7-12 runs.)

Who’s the starting pitcher?

If you’re a fan of statistics then betting on baseball is perfect for you. Why? Because baseball is a game of individual outcomes and that means stats…loads of stats. You can find some great action with the starting pitchers, taking into account the bullpens, batting orders, ballpark location and condition, and even the umpires working the game.

Rain, rain, go away…

Another important factor when it comes to baseball betting? The weather. Chicago’s Wrigley Field in April can be unpredictable at best. But a game at Petco Park in sunny San Diego at any time during the regular and post season is pretty much a given.

With the United Kingdom taking the lead with online poker regulation, many companies are cashing in on the gaming boom. Poker and gaming in Europe are growth businesses the way they were in the U.S. up until last October. Some big companies have taken notice of the profits that the industry is producing, and now that doing business within the industry is more secure, poker and betting is popping up in some new places.

AOL UK has just announced that they will allow sports betting to their customers. The numbers will be run through a German online lottery and sports betting company. They will offer it to U.K. patrons first, at the end of this month, and then they hope to spread it to other European countries soon afterward. AOL has been running a lottery through the German company since 2003, but the sports betting industry in Europe is a huge market. This is a result of Yahoo UK & Ireland entering the online poker market a few months ago. Yahoo was the first online giant to provide poker to its vast database of customers.

These companies have an advantage over other startup gaming companies because they already have access to the online market. They have access to a large number of poker players that they can reach directly. Depending on how aggressive these big companies get with their marketing, there could be a real shift in the industry if they can entice enough players away from the existing casinos and poker rooms.

Other big-name companies are rumored to have an interest in the industry. Giants like Sony, Apple, Time Warner and Universal are all paying close attention to the U.K. gaming market and a possible regulated online industry in the States. The huge Asian market that online gaming is about to tap into is one of the reasons that these big companies are looking to get involved in the industry now. Let’s hope the competition leads to better advantages for the players in the future.

Part of poker’s popularity involves the fact that the common man has a chance to win any event. Many don’t realize that it’s also a game for women. Many women make a good living playing poker, and even more make their living in industry-related businesses. There’s nothing in this industry that’s gender-dependent, and women are taking advantage of their networks and making money as poker affiliates.

It’s a common trend recently in our society to try and work close to home. Being able to care for a family and still make money from home is an ideal situation for women and men alike. A group of housewives in Toledo, Ohio have received some press because they’re cashing in on the poker industry and are still able to go about their daily lives. Instead of gambling destroying the family unit, here’s an example of poker improving the family structure.

The business of poker can provide lots of different people with opportunities to live a better lifestyle. I make my living writing about the industry and playing online; others have developed products and services that provide incomes in this booming market. The internet allows anyone to get in on the industry if they want to put the effort into a private business. The industry of poker has given me, and many others like me, freedom in our lives and work in an industry that we enjoy. I know I don’t miss getting up and going to work every morning.

The Casino Affiliate Programs.com recently had a successful affiliate conference in London, and has announced an even bigger event in Barcelona in October. Entrepreneurs will have four days to learn the latest in marketing, networking techniques and tools in the casino affiliate market. If you want to get into the game, this conference and others like it are a good place to start. It gives someone the opportunity to learn how to cash in on one of the fastest-growing industries in the world, and as the housewives in Toledo have shown us, anyone can make money in the industry of poker, not just the professional players.

The first (supposedly annual) WSOP Europe launches next month in London, as Harrah’s tries to expand the World Series of Poker brand even further.

With the current landscape of the poker world, Europe was an obvious choice for the next stop for the WSOP to try and set up shop. The United States may not have peaked in its poker potential, but the turnout of this year’s WSOP main event is clear proof that the American government’s crackdown on Internet gambling is causing people to be cautious.

Europeans and their governments have a much better view on gambling in general, and that makes it one of the top markets that any poker-related company has to go after. Since the European market (and lawmakers) are much more open to online poker, WSOP Europe and the online world will be much more welcome and free to attend than they were in Las Vegas a few months ago. The presence of online poker rooms means more money for everyone involved which, if it’s successful, will mean bigger and better things for WSOP Europe in the future.

The World Series of Poker makes the first stop outside of America next month when the WSOP Europe begins in London. The first WSOP bracelets available outside the U.S.A. are expected to be a hot-ticket item with a number of top poker pros already registered for the big £10,000 main event.

Some of the well-known pros already in line include WSOP bracelet record-holder Phil Hellmuth, legend Doyle Brunson, Phil Ivey and Howard Lederer. As it should be, Europe will also be well represented with the Great Dane Gus Hansen, and EPT and WPT champion Roland de Wolfe already confirmed.

If the WSOP Europe main event resembles the recent WSOP main events, the pros will have to be on the lookout for an unknown en route to the bracelet. The main sponsors of the event, Betfair, have reserved 125 seats alone for online qualifiers.