It’s that time of year again: football betting season. How does a newcomer survive the handicapping jungle? Start at the beginning with these three basic betting rules.

1: It’s not about the bookie. Most beginners think the idea is to outsmart the book. Not so – and good thing, too, because the oddsmakers know their stuff. The idea is to outsmart the dumber half of the betting public and take their money; the book is more like a tollbooth.

2: Embrace statistics. Don’t let your emotional attachment to a team or player guide your betting. That’s what “square” bettors do. Look at the numbers instead, including the ones that football-crazed statheads are churning out these days. The team you thought ruled might actually suck.

3: Manage your money. Your betting prowess will build as you develop your football knowledge. Keep your cool; don’t blow all your cash in the beginning.

Don’t know a fetlock from a forearm? No worries. Betting on the horses doesn’t take countless hours of legwork (nyuk, nyuk). Here are three simple rules to follow in preparation for the upcoming Breeders’ Cup.

1: Pick a winner; this is a simple horse race. Strategy plays a much smaller role compared to, say, football. The fastest horses generally prevail; avoid the long shot unless your research tells you that horse actually has a solid chance to win.

2: Know your conditions. Some horses do better at sprints, or on grass, or in the rain. Look at the race conditions in question, and see how well your target horse has performed in those conditions.

3: Log in. There are plenty of experienced eyeballs on the top thoroughbreds, reporting their findings on the Web. If a horse doesn’t seem quite right heading into a race, you won’t know about it unless you read the news.

Tennis is a simple sport; no giant playbooks, no 53-man rosters, no subjective officiating. But handicappers are more than aware about the darker side of tennis.

Four years ago, online gamblers had a less peaceful summer than usual. 2000 Olympic gold medallist Yevgeny Kafelnikov faced Fernando Vicente at the Lyon Grand Prix; betting on that matchup was suspended after heavy action came in on Vicente. The low-ranked Spaniard won in straight sets.

Here we are again. The No. 4 player on the men’s circuit, Nikolay Davydenko, is under scrutiny after withdrawing from last month’s Poland Open matchup against Martin Vassallo Arguello. Davydenko won the first set 6-2; Betfair says an unusual amount of money came in at that point for the Russian to lose. Arguello won the second set 6-3, then Davydenko withdrew while leading 2-1 in the third.

Betfair voided all the wagers on that matchup – reportedly over US$6.8 million. Stay tuned.